Mexican in Mozambique

Monday, December 17th. My consciousness, and my overall emotional/mental being is like a flame- sometimes it burns strong… other times its barely burning and easily exhausted by the passing breeze. In an email that I wrote to my cousin in Mexico, I tried to convey to her an overall picture of how I was doing here in Mozambique… and well, its tough. When people ask ‘how’s Mozambique?’ or more often, ‘how’s Africa?’ It’s hard to respond in a brief statement because the reality is- this experience is a fucking roller coaster. It’s ups, it’s downs, and everything in between. I’ve never experienced such a range of emotions in such a brief amount of time.   Sometimes I have tons of ideas that run through my head, I feel motivated. Sadly, these past few weeks have not been defined by this burning flame of motivation. Today I found myself thinking, "I’m in a rut," I don’t feel motivated. I feel like the flame that usually burns bright is dwindling. Instead, the last couple of weeks...

12.12.12 I remember I use to look at the Peace Corps website and read the featured story of the month (or week or whatever), “Peace Corps Volunteer helps local community ______.” It’s always a great success story about a volunteer in some part of the world that designed an awesome event with their community and had a great local impact. I admit, I opened that website and imagined myself in that headline. Not exactly as the volunteer that helped her community develop a fair trade program for organic coffee, but you know… I fantasized about being THAT volunteer. That volunteer that would go out and actually help. That volunteer that would make the Peace Corps headlining story. Ambitious, right? Ahaha… Well, it’s December 12 th today…. Exactly four months into my service and sadly, my work as a peace corps volunteer is no where near that ‘success’ story fantasy of mine. I get it, I’ve only been here for a few months and should give myself a break… change doesn’t happen ...

I hope my friends/family don't mind when I share little things here and there that they write to me... but it just melts my heart when I read some of their emails :) "I can't imagine just what a rollercoaster it must be. It's trying enough to get through life in your twenties, trying to discover who you are, and you are doing under the most extreme conditions. I really can't express how proud I am of you. If ever you are having a difficult day, or feel like maybe you aren't having as big of an impact as you'd hoped, just know that the action of leaving for Africa alone is an inspiration to me and everyone I share your story with. Simply being there, you are the change. However, I have never known you to be mediocre in anything you do, so I know for certain that your presence is immense (no matter how small you may be :D ), and that your efforts are rooted deeper than you can see. You should definitely put some stuff out there to publish! Let me kno...

Wrote this over a week ago... but just getting around to sharing. -- Sunday night... December 2, 2012 “She added so much beauty to being human,” Celebrate her presence. I have a little book like this, full of inspiration quotes about unspecified women. Each phrase starts with “She…yadah yadah ya.” And it follows with, “Celebrate her….” I was cleaning/tidying up my room and I picked up this book. I bought it a few weeks before coming here and loved it so much. It’s full of phrases that I’d like to think describe me, or at best, hope that they will one day. I’ve read it over and over countless times. Out of the 30 phrases in the book, I have a few favorites. I bought this book because it inspires me … after skimming through it tonight I was reminded of my Mom… This past weekend, I was able to get on skype and talk to my brother, my mom and my friends- Ayk and Hennessy. During our conversation Ayk asked me, “what do you miss the most?” Without much thought I sho...

Oiiii, Here are some pictures from our central Thanksgiving celebration in Gorongosa National Park! Start off the trip by hitch hiking our way to the park Gorongosa is a wildlife park in the central region of Mozambique. In the past, it was one of the best wildlife parks in all of Africa. However, civil war strife greatly decimated the wildlife populations in the park. Currently, there is a great restoration project being carried out by The Carr Foundation and the Mozambican Government to replenish the park back to its original density. Camping out right outside the park Sunset stroll w/ the gang Can you see me reppin' LA? ahah pretty views African sunsets <3 Group picture Adrienne was a Moz12 volunteer that got a real job at Gor after her service! She hooked us up with a game drive and served as our tour :) Waterbuck Gor has several really diverse ecosystems... from dense forest to dry savannahs. baby elephant!...

Sometimes I like to facebook stalk old pictures of myself and remember a time when I was clean, and I smelled good, and had long pretty hair, was (somewhat) fashionable, and wasn’t sweating 24 hours a day.   Sometimes I like to read other Peace Corps blogs/journals and remind myself that I’m not as alone as I sometimes feel. Sometimes, actually all the time, I like to facebook stalk RPCVs (returned peace corps volunteers) and think to myself … “they did this too. And now they’re home.” I don’t know why that makes me feel good.   Sometimes I pretend I don’t speak Portuguese when I find someone extremely irritating and want to run away from them, ASAP.   Sometimes I can’t stop thinking about L.A. and what must be happening there.   Sometimes I miss my Mom (& family) so much that I …… cry…   a little. Ahaha. Ok, a lot. Sorta.   Sometimes I wish I was in another place- although I don’t know where.   Sometimes I think back on the ...

Oi,  Two days ago marked my 3 month mark at site! Whoooo! It’s definitely the first of many Peace Corps milestones. Reconnect Conference also took place last week in Maputo. Reconnect Conference happens after your first 3 months at site (our conference was a week premature) and its designed to bring your group back together, share your experiences from site, talk about the challenges you’ve experienced & brainstorm some resiliency strategies to help cope. We also had a session on Monitoring & Evaluation, which is just a fancy way of describing the process of ‘reporting’ back to Washington. I left Chimoio early Sunday (the 4th) and flew down to Maputo. It was great to see my fellow Moz18ers once again and hear about everyone’s experiences at site. We had daily sessions from 8-5 Monday through Thursday and a half day on Friday. On the first night there I got to go to a reggae show on the marginal (like the Cali PCH, but in Maputo) which was pretty great. Aft...