"New Year’s Resolution: stay alive one more year"


Jan.17

Part of me feels like I should write a reflection of 2012, and perhaps something on my goals for 2013… but I don’t know. It feels forced. I’ve definitely reflected on the highs and lows of 2012 with some other volunteers from my group during my trip down south, but I don’t really feel compelled to regurgitate them here. I didn’t really make any resolutions for the new year… it was funny, I was on facebook one day and I saw a status from a friend of mine that’s abroad in Thailand, it read:

‘New Year’s Resolution: stay alive one more year’

I chuckled at it and wondered why I had not thought of that, especially considering the accident I was in on the ride back to site (no worries, wasn’t hurt)… surviving Mozambique has definitely been on the agenda since I rode in one of those death trap chapas down in Gaza (during site visits)…

Anyway, I won’t rehash all my 2012 reflections, but I have been reflecting on my service lately. Jan 12th marked my 5th month at site and with that came some other realizations….

I realize that I spent an embarrassingly obscene amount of time watching media (shows & movies). I realize that I have yet to finish a book in Mozambique (don’t get me wrong, I started many… but can’t seem to get through any of them) …oh wait, that’s a lie. I finished a short novel. That’s still embarrassing though. I realize that I am not as integrated as I’d like to be. There’s a lot of people that I cumprimentar (greet) when I’m walking in and out of my bairro, but I have yet to get to know anyone on a deeper level… part of me uses the excuse that I live in a capital and thus- serious integration is not as expected of me as much as it is from volunteers that live in much smaller communities.

So, there it is- in the coming months I hope to spend more time getting to know people instead of shutting myself in my little house watching episodes of The Office, New Girl, and Boardwalk Empire all the time. I hope to sit outside, under the shade of a tree as I read more… and of course, I hope that work picks up, and finally… I hope to survive mais um ano e meio no Mozambique (one more year and a half in Mozambique), aha.

--

Jan20th

This past weekend brought about some much needed stimulation.

The highlight was sitting in and participating in the Central planning meeting for one of our secondary projects, REDES(Rapariga em Desenvolvimento, Educação, e Saúde). REDES is our grass-roots girls empowerment project here in Moz and I have been eager and excited to get the ball rolling on this. I have yet to start my own group, but I was very excited to be included in the planning that took place. Also, I met two young Mozambican women that run their own groups (without a Volunteer facilitator) who live here in Chimoio! I didn’t know about their groups before, so I’m very excited to visit them and maybe have a few exchanges with them once I get my group going. As some of you know, my situation with “work” (work as a health volunteer with my community based org) has been kinda aloof and up in the air lately so it was great to have something to look forward to and start scoping out new ideas and possible scenarios of how I can become more active (as opposed to just passear-ing between my house and the PC office for internet access).

In addition to all this REDES fun, the program director for health has been in town for a few days so I got to meet with her, talk about my current situation, and brainstorm work & project possibilities for me in the coming months. It was also nice to just hang out with her and show her around Chimoio with the other volunteers…She was a PCV a few years ago (in the Dominican Republic) so sometimes its nice to just have a frank conversation with someone who knows what you’re going through and understands the position that we’re in as PCVs. She and the rest of PC Staff have been very supportive and helpful during this little rough patch in my service so, I really appreciated her visit. Not to mention that I’m always excited when I get a visitor and get show off my cute little house (even though there’s not much to show, since it’s still relatively unfurnished and empty).

So, on Saturday after the REDES meeting I was killing some time before dinner and I was looking at pictures on facebook… I’m not sure when this happened, but turns out you can view your instagram profile (and those of who you “follow”) online now! My mind was BLOWWWWN! So, needless to say, I started browsing (or “stalking”) through my friends’ pictures and checking out on what I’ve been missing out on… I saw pictures of my friends’ wedding that was back in September and I admit it felt super weird. It was all of my girls in the bridesmaid’s dresses and then Christina in her WEDDING dress. They all looked gorgeous of course. It was just weird to see a group picture and know that had I not left, I would’ve been in those pictures… sometimes I wonder what I’m missing out on. Sometimes it feels like I’m missing so much. I look at pictures of my nephew and rarely recognize him now (not literally, of course). I look at pictures of my niece and it sucks to know that she has no idea that I exist. Of course, I know she’s still a baby… but it’s hard. It makes me wonder what other major life events will occur as I sit here in my little house in Africa… I knew this would happen and I certainly knew that life would not stop and wait for me. Nor do I expect it too. It’s just so strange to me- to look at pictures of my girls and of my family, and of people who have had such a strong presence in my life and realize that we are worlds apart… I don’t know if I’m making any sense… but needless to say, the whole instagram stalking made me a little homesick.

But, I have to keep things in perspective, I know. I know. Two years in retrospect will be but a fraction in time and at the end of the day, I have to life my life and make moves to build the type of life I want…. No matter how much I miss my family, my girls, etc.

I found this in my friends’ instagram account and thought it was dope:



<3
let's hope so.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

3 months in!

Image
Oi,  Two days ago marked my 3 month mark at site! Whoooo! It’s definitely the first of many Peace Corps milestones. Reconnect Conference also took place last week in Maputo. Reconnect Conference happens after your first 3 months at site (our conference was a week premature) and its designed to bring your group back together, share your experiences from site, talk about the challenges you’ve experienced & brainstorm some resiliency strategies to help cope. We also had a session on Monitoring & Evaluation, which is just a fancy way of describing the process of ‘reporting’ back to Washington. I left Chimoio early Sunday (the 4th) and flew down to Maputo. It was great to see my fellow Moz18ers once again and hear about everyone’s experiences at site. We had daily sessions from 8-5 Monday through Thursday and a half day on Friday. On the first night there I got to go to a reggae show on the marginal (like the Cali PCH, but in Maputo) which was pretty great. Aft...
Read more

fidel castro.

July 11, 2012 I just got back from a short trip to the northern province of Gaza… I visited a current volunteer in a barrio called Fidel Castro, which is about a 30 minute drive from the capital of Xai-Xai. The trip was definitely a learning experience… a lot of questions ran through my head during the last few days, and although I did not fall in love with the barrio of Fidel Castro, I am glad I got to see first hand what the PCV experience is like. I think that in general, the Peace Corps experience is characterized by highs and lows. Sometimes you are happy to be here and other times you can’t seem to stop asking yourself what the hell you signed up for… These last few days have certainly followed this pattern…. My alarm went off at 2:40-ish on Saturday morning. I got dressed, gathered my things and set off to meet the rest of the volunteers by 3am. I walked over to our meeting spot with Carla and her host mom in absolute darkness. There was a power outage right as I was ...
Read more

O ano ja acabou!

Image
The year is over (well, almost!). December is here and health associations are getting ready to close down for the holiday season, meaning that work is coming to a halt d'aqui a nada . Last week was actually a really busy week of work (hey! I never get to say that!) that served to pretty much close the associations activities for the year. Here's a short re-cap of the past week: Monday, November 25th was the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women and my association, LEMUSICA, kicked off a series of activities: Monday Nov. 25th- International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women The association led a march and performed a dance to "One Billion Rising" in the center of town. The director gave a speech about cultural norms that perpetuate the tolerance of violence against women. She called on the crowd to defy cultural norms and recognize violence against women as a grave human rights violation. Sometimes, when bys...
Read more